Saturday, 22 August 2015

if i only had a brain? heart?


let me begin this post by going waaaay back to 6 months ago when I first moved to where I live now (which is three hours away from where I used to live) and I had been talking to this guy on the internet

before you say A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G...yes I know he exists. My best friend E has a friend that has met him and she introduced him to me online over Facebook. plus he has snapchat, instagram, ect and has tagged photos, and my friend who goes to his school has met him.

we were talking for about 3 months, and I was going up to Suffolk to meet all of my friends and we had arranged to meet. He was busy but he told me that he could come then he messaged me that night saying how sorry he was. I'm pretty good at holding a grudge...

so I kind of blocked him and said that I hated him and yeah.
I pretty much forgot about him


I literally cannot stop thinking about him lately, and how perfect he is and how I was a bit harsh saying that I hate him... :/
When last night I was sleeping at my best friend M's house and she said, "have you thought about C lately?" and I was like, oh god, yes I have.

so I messaged him. Nothing flirty, nothing weird. I said something along the lines of "hello stranger, it's been a while, I needed some time, can we talk about what happened?"

and that we did. He explained himself and how much he felt like a douche and how bad he felt. And I was all like, "did you care about me at all?" and OH GOD GUYS YOU'D NEVER GUESS WHAT HE PUT NEXT

"I loved you."


why you do this. Setting aside that he is an incredibly beautiful excuse of a human being, I think that we're starting again. but I don't want to get heart broken this time!

do I trust him?

love, jess littlemiss xox

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